Blissfully Backwards

i'm bawling my eyes out

lyrarose:

i know you can’t see me over typing but i came home from school/doctors and my mum always jumps down my throaght when i’m at the doctor and decides to speak for me even though she doesn’t have a clue what she’s saying cos i’m so scared to speak around her. Well they told me what i already know, i’m depressed and have a slew of anxiety disorders. my mum then screamed at me the whole way home and i cried the minute i got to my room. I never cry in front of people, EVER. to me it’s a sign of weakness, if you don’t understand that, well you’ve never met my family. I detest them. Especially my mum. she’s made me so miserable my whole life. First no dance, then not caring, then calling me all these terrible things over the years and then jumping down my throaght and screaming at me constantly and then not listening to a word i say. ‘respect’ is a stupid reason for anything, I respected you until you did all those things to me and then i just can’t take it. You don’t deserve my respect. If someone can push me to tears this often, and onto the edge, ME someone who never ever cries, then you’re cruel. I tried forever to keep the tears back: do you know that feeling? with the lump in your throaght and when you can’t talk cos you know if you do you’ll start bawling and your face contorts and turns red. yeah that’s me most of the time. And now i’m not at that audition i practiced so hard to sing for, that the director and everyone else was expecting me to be at so they’d have a dancer. I’D BE ABLE TO DANCE! and i suck at singing but i tried so hard at one song so i can get in. and now i’m not there cos my mum wouldn’t drive me. long story short: i’m depressed, my mum’s a bitch and that all there is to it.

 Poor you. this is horrible. feel better. keep dancing (in secret in your room? better than nothing.) xoxo